to put your whole soul, everything you have and are, into a relationship, but in the end have it all been for nothing.
OR
Never let yourself get close to someone. never experience love in its amazing, messy, heartwrenching form. to be in relationships but push away that person before they could get too close, get to really know the real you.
i have defintly only ever dealt with the second. and is that better for me?
cuz i know how YOU are dealing with the first one. Yes, it was incredible. Yes, it couldn't have been more perfect. at the time. But now, as you look back, was it worth it?
i dont know.
should you be able to deal with the hurt and the pain, just for the little moments of pure love and extasy of finding someone you connect with. OR do you settle for manageable, decent relationships, so that the fall doesnt hurt as bad.
you'd think the first would be so much more worth it.
but i cant
I dont
i have not as of tonight, experienced love.
is it out there?
more than likey.
am i brave, no, strong enough to endure the pain to find it?
i dont think so.
3 comments:
haha thinking about it more....
I've always strived for the first one. It's just the way I've always believed a relationship to be, and the whole point of dating is about finding someone who you think you can spend the rest of your life with.
I believe the latter doesn't exactly fulfill my requirements. I'm not saying that it doesn't fulfill yours however.
God created us to share our lives with someone who we can relate to, experience, share, and become one with. And so I believe that in order to achieve that, you need to try for the first...even if it pretty much kills you (much like it has for me) when it ends.
I won't lie...I'm not nearly the person I used to be after this....life has been nothing but an up-hill battle since...and you question God...and you wonder why he would do this to you if he claims to love you. But we need to remember he has some sort of plan.
I'm an optimist...and that's why I believe what I do. Although lately that's been the hardest thing I could ever be asked to do.
Option 1 has the greatest reward you could ask for in your entire life.
Unless I'm failing to see it, I don't believe option 2 has that kind of reward.
hmmm.. interesting.. insightful.
though i'm not saying option two is what i want. its just what i've ever experienced....
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