why am i so jealous of one person?
so full of anger and... dislike(?) for someone i hardly know.
why cant i let go of these feelings of jealousy, bitterness, and paranoia?
i cant stop worrying about what might happen while i'm away. and why? why do i drive myself to the edge of extreme panic for absolutly no reason. well i think i have a reason, but every sane person in my life would say that i'm acting crazy.
but i cant help it.
I know the history. I know what can happen when two people are apart. Already, we're not talking nearly as much as we used to. hardly any FB messages. and i dont know how to fix it.
how to remind him how much he means to me, and explain to him how i feel. 'Cuz to him, i'm being silly. He's already told me that. So where do i find reassurance? How do i keep my sanity (and my relationship) stable?
i have no idea.
and i'm getting very tired of crying
2 comments:
If you love someone let them go, and if they come back they love you to....
I know what it's like to move far away from family, friends & everything familiar.
I know the feeling of everyone getting on with there own lives & slowly contact droping off to once a week instead of every day & then monthly & after ten years some only send Christmas cards.
Unfortunatley that is life.
Luckily your family will always be there for you...especially your parnets!
We tend to put our energy into the here & now on a day to day basis.
Some of these friends I have to say I've given up on but others I still see when i go home, every one or two years.
As i've grown older & moved through life my circle of freinds have changed often, to include my partners friends & then the parents of my kids friends.
Now my kids are older & I have joined groups on my own I've made more friends...and some of these my husband & kids doesn't know 'cos they hasn't joined me in my new hobby groups.
In my experience it's not that your friends forget you but when times are busy you tend to spend that time with the "here & now" & put the "away" friends off till you have a little more time.
They still love you & think about you often but don't always have time to put those thoughts on facebook, email or paper.
As for the boyfriend....have faith! Stop stressing or you'll scare him away. At 18 you think of 2 years as a huge amount of time but in a lifetime (hopefully) it's no time at all. Trust him...and if you can't then maybe he's not the guy for you?? Don't let this time of adventure be spoiled by crazy thoughts & mind games.
And if you're no longer going to be my facebook friend would you like to send me your email address???
love C.B.
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